Friday, October 26, 2012


“Miss Moore, why are you still single?”
“What are you looking for?”

Default short answers: “I wish I knew.” and “A liberal Christian guy.”  I say these jokingly because obviously the answers are much more complex and, I’m fairly certain they are not interested in the long answer.

Well….that’s a great question. Probably one that could best be answered by someone other than myself because, if I had an answer to that question I’d probably NOT be single.  Ok fine.  That’s probably not true.  A few weeks ago I was asked this question at a 5 year old’s bday party where I was the sole single person (not only the only single, but the only childless….that’s another post completely).  “Are you just really picky?” and I responded with an adamant, “Not at all, I just don’t like very many people.”  (for the record I like most people….just don’t like like them) Which warranted the reply, “That means you’re picky!” Touché friend.  Ok, so maybe I’m picky….but the alternative would be settling right?  I mean, I thought knowing what you wanted was a good thing.  No? 

I’ve never been the girl that dates a lot of people.  I’ve had 2 “real relationships” and I’ve probably “dated” no more than 7? guys.  Red flag right? I must be a commitment phobe…..false.  I think it’s quite the opposite.  I am not interested whatsoever in investing in a relationship that I don’t know for certain will go “somewhere.”  (disclaimer…I am interested in investing if friendship relationships…it’s the other ones I’m talking about) Yeah, I know I know…if you don’t try, it isn’t going to go ANYWHERE.  Here lies the problem with the “I know what I want” mentality.  Maybe I’m not open to anything other than the idea in my head I have about my future husband….maybe. Yes. That’s definitely it. 

So…throw out the list? Yes, there’s a list.  And before you start judging me…it’s not crazy.  Ok ok…the very composition of the list is crazy…but it wasn’t done seriously.  I was with a group of (married) girlfriends and it seemed like a fun activity at the time.  If you are one of my close friends the list has become a topic of comical relief and ridicule.  My high school guy friends think its funny to put themselves up to the rubric and see how they score out of the 16 “requirements.”  Before you gasp, these 16 things are pretty standard...typical “good guy” qualities: {in alphabetical order} ambitious, artistic, Christian, compassionate, earth conscious, easy going, educated, funny, generous, intentional, loyal, passionate, patient, spontaneous, and stylish.  Too much to ask?  Usually, first knee jerk reaction to the list is, “Those are a bunch of contradictions.”  My short answer alone {Liberal Christian} is near impossible to come by.  Or I get, “There’s a ton of guys I know like that.”  The truth is.  I’ve met this guy before…more than once.  And the formula was not perfect.  Therefore, I had to amend the list.  CHEMISRTY.  Not an adjective like the rest, but impossible to ignore….dare I say, the most important.  I’ve tried to date the perfect guy (by my standard) and what wouldn’t you know, it didn’t work! GASP.  C’mon! The worst thing EVER is meeting a guy you are compatible with but just can’t take to the next step.  Maybe I should revert to the olden times where you were arranged to marry the perfect guy (by your parents standard) and learn to love the other person.  It works….I’ve met these couples.  But we the people of the RomCom watching free United States have been bombarded with the message that there is something more! And I want it!

“If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” THAT’S what I want.  That’s why I’m still sinlge. The End.


  1. I'm praying for this know, it's not like he hasn't been born yet...he is walking God's green earth at this very moment.

    God is taking much care in preparing him for YOU!

    You're a bird, he is an eagle. Hang in there. Love ya!

  2. I have all confidence that not only is God going to bring this guy into your life, it will be an exciting and worth-waiting-for romance that will have us all smiling and saying to God, "Now I get it. Your plan really is best!" I love how you are trusting him :)
    Love you friend!

  3. The coolest girls are single longest:) LOVED this post! We need to have a jubilee get together and debrief this because I too have a list and I too have met guys who met all the qualifications and it didn't work out!

    You are pretty stinkin terrific, Karin. I hate dancing, but I'm excited about dancing at your wedding:)